Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
