We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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