quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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