She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Drunk is not a location!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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