just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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