Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
