somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i permit you to call me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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