Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
