Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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