so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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