I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
