i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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