You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
