hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
