Yo dont text me then not text me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
im on a boat
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