people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
