She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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