i can't believe i had my finger in that
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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