I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We had to coat check the pizza.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
