My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
