I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
