I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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