Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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