I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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