I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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