So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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