Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
