Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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