Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She's the barista slut.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize