shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
