I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
