his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
