i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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