i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
