I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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