thus making me awesome and them whores
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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