we're blogging at a bar
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
