I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
