I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
