VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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