That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Randomize
