Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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