The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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