there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
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he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
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I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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