carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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