All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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