there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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