I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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