We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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