I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
