He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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