our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
