Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it was like his penis was on wheels.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
