Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldnâ€™t Be More Proud
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.