I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize