The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.