i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.