Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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