I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
