My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize