If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
How's work?
Spinning.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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