Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
